Looking for a FEAST

So when your 72 year old father starts emailing you articles like "8 Reasons Why You're Still Single," you know you've reached a new level of awesomeness. But I did read the article and one of them actually stuck with me. "You're too picky" was reason #6. The article said we shouldn't have a "laundry list" of things we're looking for in a potential mate. Why? Because people aren't sofas and we don't get to pick them to our exact specifications. Fair enough.

This whole idea kind of goes along with what I was saying earlier about online dating being great because it did the "pre-screening" for me. I genuinely thought it would make things simpler because I knew more of the suitors' "specs" before deciding whether to go out with them. An online dating profile is like a virtual test drive of a man without having to talk to them or touch them. Again, you'd think this would be a good thing. But I've found it's not because 1) it's just too much information provided too soon and we use this to potentially create a history with someone before we've ever met them and 2) oftentimes this "history" we create will be based on information that is false.

So you know online dating and I have parted ways. And no, we're not getting back together. Although, while home for the holidays this weekend, I met the new girlfriend of a rather "intense" friend from high school and how did they meet? e-freaking-harmony. I was floored. She was pretty. And normal. And they were really into each other. Why couldn't I be the poster child for eHarmony like they were? Was it really because they're in California and I'm in Texas? I don't buy that. We're all busy and there are people looking for legit relationships everywhere. Hmm. Ideas?

Back to this notion of being "too picky," maybe my dad's emailed relationship article had a point. So, in an effort to test this theory out, I revisited my (admittedly long) list of qualities a guy needs to have and reduced it down to FIVE. And how dorkishly cool is this... when I put the first letters of the top 5 qualities in a certain order it spells the word "FEAST." Muah ha ha. Now I can say things like "yeah, he was okay for a nibble but he was no feast." My how I entertain myself.

Okay, here it goes... the new, streamlined, top 5 for 2011:

F- funny
E- educated/ employed
A- attractive
S- stable/ sensitive/ sweet
T- tall (at least as tall as me)

There are so many other things I want to add, but I'm going to see how long I last with this oh-so-abbreviated experiment of a list. Argh. Sitting on my hands...