And... six weeks in, I caved. I rejoined eHarmony. Yes, this is coming from the girl who swore off online dating forever. I'm just really ready for a relationship that could turn into something substantial, and eHarmony is the most relationship oriented of all the dating sites (as you know, I've dipped my toe in all those waters). I haven't met anyone in real-life yet, but I am emailing two guys who seem to have their shite together.
Get this. Not only is my retired father still trying to run my life, he now thinks he can be my matchmaker too. He met a young man who was looking at the apartments I was looking into (except I wasn't actually there because I was traveling all summer), and he told him about me. The young man gave my dad his business card and told him to have me call him, since we were both moving from out of town and didn't know many people.
So we started texting, then became facebook friends, then met in real life. We have a really great dynamic. He is funny and super-sweet, as in he dropped off a housewarming plant, card, and CD on my doorstep the morning after we met. But I'm not sure it's there. We even went out on a pseudo- double date (with a couple who is engaged... talk about pressure) two days after we met. He paid for the nice dinner and I bought us a few rounds of drinks after. We hug, run errands together, and even cuddle when we watch movies together, but we've never kissed. Either he's uber-respectful and waiting for the right time or he senses that I'm not sure. I've even slept over at his place twice now and all we do is cuddle. It's sweet, but perplexing. Still, it's nice having someone to cuddle with (I'm a huge cuddler).
Did go on my first real date here in my new city. It was with a guy I met at a charity event. He was cute in the dark, has a good job, and bought me several drinks. But the second time around, in the daylight, the best word I can use to describe our time together was "lackluster." His khakis were ill-fitting, his polo was as well, and his hair... damn, let's just say his hair has so much potential. If he let it grow out a little more, he could absolutely pull off the British indie rocker moppy hair look (which I love). But I didn't get enough personality. And with a personality as big as mine, I need someone to match that. I thanked him for my beverages at the end of the night and gave him a polite hug (as in a one arm and a pat on the back type of hug), but apparently he didn't take the hint.
I am so bad about conveying to nice guys who are interested in me that I'm not interested in dating them. He asked me later that week if I wanted to hang out and my response (trying to be as sweet and as diplomatic as possible while still conveying my romantic disinterest) was "Sure. Round up as many people as possible. The more the merrier!" Fail.
I've made two girlfriends at work. Both are married. One is 24 and one is 34. Although I'm in the middle in age, I still feel like the old maid in the group because I'm single. Now that I'm back in the buckle of the Bible belt and not in liberal Austin, I feel so much more pressure to be in a relationship. And now that I'm teaching high school students, I can't help but wonder what my students think of me. "She's pretty... why is she not married?" Or worse, "she must have some fatal flaw to be post-law school and single." (For the record, they don't know whether or not I have a boyfriend. But clearly, there is no ring on my finger.)
That's the update for now. Wish me luck finding whatever it is I'm looking for.
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