First off, I made the mistake of making a special exception to "No Date January" for Ohio guy (the one who said he was "transitioning" to Austin... see prior post for more info). On our third date, he took me to dinner at Whole Foods (for the second time). I know it's an uber-nice grocery store and all, but really? And on the night before my birthday? I'm no snob, but you taking me to a place with waiters and waitresses at some point would be awesome. Scanning our dinner with a cashier just takes a bit of the romance out.
After dinner, he took me to an actual restaurant (whoa!) to celebrate the engagement of one of his work colleagues. It was clearly one of those deals where he got invited after he had made plans with me. So, he opted just to bring me along. Things started off awesomely, as you would expect when you bring a third date to an engagement party. "Do you guys live together?" was the first question we got. "I'll let you take that one," I smirked.
I probably should have taken it as a sign when I stood up to go to the other side of the table to hear the engagement story and felt a sharp pain in my left big toe. My yelp emanated through The Cheesecake Factory and the entire party stopped to look at me, the random date. I felt awesome. So from where did this pain stem? Turns out a chair leg cover (the kind that keeps a chair from sliding) had come out of one of the chairs and I had the good fortune of stepping right on it. Damn thing looked like an oversized thumb tack. And yup, it went right through my boot and my sock and into my big toe. Blood and awesomeness. Happy engagement, strangers!
When something that could potentially give rise to litigation happens to a corporation, the staff wastes no time. Before I knew it, I had a "Cheesecake Factory Incident Report Form" in front of me and the managers were at my beck and call. After I stopped the bleeding with a napkin, the manager gave me a band-aid (even put it on himself) and asked me if I needed anything else. Like ice... or medical attention. I asked them if I could keep the thumb tack-looking chair piece, but they informed me that corporate needed it. That's when I had to play the lawyer trump card. "As a lawyer, I don't know if I feel comfortable with that." Their eyes lit up and then they told me... I could take pictures. For artistic flair (and for fun), I then placed the massive thumb tack on top of the Cheesecake Factory menu so their logo was uber-visible and took a photo. Love it.
You'd think maybe they would've offered to pick up the tab for my two beers, but no suck luck. Anyhow, I figured corporate would take a week or so to contact me, but much to my surprise... their attorney called me the very next day. Wow. All I told them is that I would keep watch on the toe and let them know if I thought I needed a tetanus shot. So far, so good. I'm still standing (pun intended).
Haven't seen Ohio guy since. Good riddance, Ohio. I am not your rent-a-date. But thank you for the two grocery store dinners. And for stealing another chair leg cover so I could have evidence of my own.
2. Neighbor
3. D
4. J
5. A
Those numbered items mean more later.
xo,
t.
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