Living together...

I've never had a boyfriend I've ever considered living with. Let me clarify that. I've never really had a long-term boyfriend. A relationship that was healthy and we didn't break up and get back together all the time. So now that I have that I was thinking that maybe it was time to take the plunge and live together. We're always over at each other's houses anyway, and it would save money, and it would be a way to see if we're compatible under the same roof all the time.

So... after lots of waiting around and antsy to start looking at places, I took a major leap of faith (and made myself vulnerable because I was hoping this would be HIS idea) and suggested that maybe we could look into living together. Needless to say, I was somewhat dejected when he told me that he didn't think that was such a great idea. At first, I took this as a personal affront. I'm a great catch, I thought to myself... we're in an amazing relationship... why would he NOT want to live with me?

Then I stopped freaking out and started listening. Living together, he went on, is a proven "relationship killer." Although we're both softies and think a lot with our hearts, he thinks more with his head than I do. He went on to tell me about study after study that has shown that couples who live together are more likely to never get married, and -if they do get married- are more likely to end up getting divorced. And it's not like this is coming from some right-winger. We're both extremely liberal. He values our relationship more than "testing the cohabitating waters" and he'd rather have me than money saved on rent. Yup... I'll take that.

So we've decided to each get our own places... in the same neighborhood. That way we'll each still have our own space, but we'll save time and money by not having to constantly drive back and forth from his place to mine. And if he needs to borrow a cup of sugar from me or if I want to go workout on his Wii, we can just jog over and we're set. I feel much better about this than I thought I would... and it makes me all the more excited about a potential future with him. And he brought up another really good point. He said that if you live together before you get married, nothing really changes when you do get married. "You just leave your house, go to your wedding, and come back to the same house you both lived in before," he said. Another point for non-cohabitation. I do want marriage to be an exciting next step... and moving in together into our first official place will definitely add to that.

Lesson of the story: Sometimes it really is better to stop taking things so personally and look at the evidence. Yes, head > heart... but only every once in awhile.