Dreams we have while we sleep mean something. And last night's events are a perfect example. I awoke at 4 something this morning with vivid recollections of the dream I was just having:
... I'm alone, in Central Park, wearing my current boyfriend's hoodie. For the first time in a long time, I'm comfortable being alone. I walk up to an outdoor cafe and sit at a table for two by mysef. I have two drinks -something with Bailey's-- and when the check comes I have to go to another table to borrow their pen. I choose a table of young men, and they are not very friendly. One of them watches me fill out the tip and total and makes a remark about how I'm not tipping enough, even though I'm tipping 20%. The guys leave, but I stay behind, just sitting and thinking in their booth for a bit. I look around and notice that someone has left behind a roll of blue painter's tape, the kind I use in my classroom. I think about taking it, but then decide that maybe it means something to someone and it'd be better for me to leave it. I walk away. I then realize I've left my hoodie at the table. I run back to the table and it's still there. I grab the hoodie and run off to explore Central Park...
Back to real life. I wake up with vivid recollections of this dream. I can't fall back asleep, so I decide to play on facebook. I see that one of my ex-boyfriends (and I only have two) has changed his relationship status. He's either single now or engaged now, I think to myself. Eager to find out which one it is, I click on his profile. My ex, who lives in New York City, had gotten engaged the night before. His profile picture? The two of them in Central Park.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
grocery store musings
Do you think the grocery bagger man was being funny when he put the toilet paper and the prunes together... in their own bag?
I shop in a mostly minority grocery store, so I'm the minority. It's interesting, because it seems like whenever I pass another white person, it seems as though we always smile at each other. It's almost like we're smirking to each other going "this is great role reversal." I love it.
Fireman smoking = ironic.
Seems like if food is not in my freezer, it doesn't get eaten. Every time I try to be domestic and buy stuff that goes in the pantry and requires preparation, it just sits there.
I shop in a mostly minority grocery store, so I'm the minority. It's interesting, because it seems like whenever I pass another white person, it seems as though we always smile at each other. It's almost like we're smirking to each other going "this is great role reversal." I love it.
Fireman smoking = ironic.
Seems like if food is not in my freezer, it doesn't get eaten. Every time I try to be domestic and buy stuff that goes in the pantry and requires preparation, it just sits there.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Living together...
I've never had a boyfriend I've ever considered living with. Let me clarify that. I've never really had a long-term boyfriend. A relationship that was healthy and we didn't break up and get back together all the time. So now that I have that I was thinking that maybe it was time to take the plunge and live together. We're always over at each other's houses anyway, and it would save money, and it would be a way to see if we're compatible under the same roof all the time.
So... after lots of waiting around and antsy to start looking at places, I took a major leap of faith (and made myself vulnerable because I was hoping this would be HIS idea) and suggested that maybe we could look into living together. Needless to say, I was somewhat dejected when he told me that he didn't think that was such a great idea. At first, I took this as a personal affront. I'm a great catch, I thought to myself... we're in an amazing relationship... why would he NOT want to live with me?
Then I stopped freaking out and started listening. Living together, he went on, is a proven "relationship killer." Although we're both softies and think a lot with our hearts, he thinks more with his head than I do. He went on to tell me about study after study that has shown that couples who live together are more likely to never get married, and -if they do get married- are more likely to end up getting divorced. And it's not like this is coming from some right-winger. We're both extremely liberal. He values our relationship more than "testing the cohabitating waters" and he'd rather have me than money saved on rent. Yup... I'll take that.
So we've decided to each get our own places... in the same neighborhood. That way we'll each still have our own space, but we'll save time and money by not having to constantly drive back and forth from his place to mine. And if he needs to borrow a cup of sugar from me or if I want to go workout on his Wii, we can just jog over and we're set. I feel much better about this than I thought I would... and it makes me all the more excited about a potential future with him. And he brought up another really good point. He said that if you live together before you get married, nothing really changes when you do get married. "You just leave your house, go to your wedding, and come back to the same house you both lived in before," he said. Another point for non-cohabitation. I do want marriage to be an exciting next step... and moving in together into our first official place will definitely add to that.
Lesson of the story: Sometimes it really is better to stop taking things so personally and look at the evidence. Yes, head > heart... but only every once in awhile.
So... after lots of waiting around and antsy to start looking at places, I took a major leap of faith (and made myself vulnerable because I was hoping this would be HIS idea) and suggested that maybe we could look into living together. Needless to say, I was somewhat dejected when he told me that he didn't think that was such a great idea. At first, I took this as a personal affront. I'm a great catch, I thought to myself... we're in an amazing relationship... why would he NOT want to live with me?
Then I stopped freaking out and started listening. Living together, he went on, is a proven "relationship killer." Although we're both softies and think a lot with our hearts, he thinks more with his head than I do. He went on to tell me about study after study that has shown that couples who live together are more likely to never get married, and -if they do get married- are more likely to end up getting divorced. And it's not like this is coming from some right-winger. We're both extremely liberal. He values our relationship more than "testing the cohabitating waters" and he'd rather have me than money saved on rent. Yup... I'll take that.
So we've decided to each get our own places... in the same neighborhood. That way we'll each still have our own space, but we'll save time and money by not having to constantly drive back and forth from his place to mine. And if he needs to borrow a cup of sugar from me or if I want to go workout on his Wii, we can just jog over and we're set. I feel much better about this than I thought I would... and it makes me all the more excited about a potential future with him. And he brought up another really good point. He said that if you live together before you get married, nothing really changes when you do get married. "You just leave your house, go to your wedding, and come back to the same house you both lived in before," he said. Another point for non-cohabitation. I do want marriage to be an exciting next step... and moving in together into our first official place will definitely add to that.
Lesson of the story: Sometimes it really is better to stop taking things so personally and look at the evidence. Yes, head > heart... but only every once in awhile.
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